“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” George Eliot
To paraphrase Mary Oliver, what might do with this precious thing, life? At my age, many friends are grappling with this. Last week, a conversation with one of them hit me hard. After moving through a challenging few years, she is now looking for a purpose, fulfillment… that spark. But where, and how... And what?
Whatever, wherever, however you envision this ‘life’, the message this month is to Believe it can be. Maybe you want to ‘be’ peaceful, more present, more rested. Maybe you want to ‘be’ a teacher, an artist, a volunteer in a country (or neighborhood) torn by strife. Or maybe you want to be exactly what you are, right here and right now.
Maybe you want to ‘be’ in a world that is more loving and inclusive of others? I do.
Whatever it may be, as Ted Lasso tells us, just believe it can be. “I think that’s what it’s all about – embracing change, being brave, doing whatever you have to …”
My 57 yr old sister just finished her master’s in Education, during Covid, toiling over the kitchen table at night while working as an aide in the local school (on Zoom) and raising her teenage daughter as a single mom. Now she is pursuing a career as a 2nd grade teacher. “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” (George Eliot)
So, what’s it gonna be? While this sounds stupidly simple, it’s actually painfully hard. About 8 years ago, I went through this without knowing I was going through this. If this sounds like a riddle, it is - I was truly puzzled.
I broke out in 9 months of unexplained hives that every professional told me was ‘stress’ - but me? Why should I be stressed?
It was in yoga, likely a SmartFLOW class, that I could be still and listen to what my heart was seeking. From there, I needed to strip out the underlying expectations and unwritten do’s and don’ts of my happy life - and take some unconventional steps (bless my husband Bob- he did his share of eye rolling, but he hasn’t given up on me...yet). The most important thing I learned? It is actually the journey, each seemingly insignificant step along the way that even for a moment fills your cup, and not the destination, that brings contentment. Because, what is the ultimate ‘destination’ anyway? I daresay contentment?
So, I invite you to zero in on whatever it is that lights you up (or calms you down)... and dip in your toe. Is it painting? Growing vegetables? Learning anatomy? Spoiler alert, it may not be popular with those around you. You may need to do less of something (for me it was cooking dinner..) or more of something else - and over time, you risk leaving some of the current regulars in your life behind. The first step, while scary, is actually harmless - my whole family laughed when I brought home my first crystal and put it out under the full moon.
But don’t give up... as Mark Twain said, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” Yes, it’s scary! But that first trip to the crystal shop is not that awful, trust me.
Sit down, maybe turn on some music, be still. And take a look deep inside...maybe write about it, think on it… but notice it. And trust it. Believe in it. Because, the first step is believing in yourself.
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Rebecca: “Oh, do you believe in ghosts, Ted?”
Ted Lasso: “I do. But more importantly, I believe they need to believe in themselves.”